What a Life I have…

15 Aug

Hello everyone,

I am still baking some fair entries today, just some cookies today and tomorrow I’ll be baking some bread. Still don’t know how many I have made yet. I haven’t kept track! LOL!!!

I have been dealing with a family member that has betrayed me this past week. I was so angry with him that (it’s my brother) I said some pretty nasty words to him, I just texted them to him. This is hard for me to write down, I have debated on whether or not I wanted to write about this. I think I need to so that other people know that they are not the only one’s to go through what I did. Several years ago I was drugged and raped by someone I considered like a brother to me. We had went to school together and he lived in hour home with my parents and brother and sister for a couple of years. At first when I told my parent’s about it they accused me of being a liar, and so did another family member. My parent’s convinced me that I dreamed it all up and I thought I was crazy. This went on for several years, until I met my husband. With his support and love I was able to confront my parents about this and they believe me now. When I told my grandparents they believed me and my grandfather would kill him if he came around again. The problem is that my brother added my rapist again as his Facebook page. I tried talking to him about it, because I wanted to know why he would do such a thing to me. I am deeply hurt by this. Plus I am scared for my niece, she is a young developing lady and I am scared that he will hurt her to. This person has hurt not only me, but someone else I know.  I have written to her mother my brother’s ex about this as well. I hope we can do something about this. I told everyone I have nothing to gain by telling them this other than being shut out by my brother who doesn’t believe me. By the way he is the asshole I was talking about! I can’t send my rapist to prison either, because the statue of limitations is 5 years and this happened in the summer of 98. I feel so hopeless about this situation, I don’t know what else to do. Most of my family won’t or are not willing to help, they think my brother and I need to work this out on our own, but how can I when he betrays me like this and won’t talk to me. He has blocked me on Facebook and on his cell phone. I am very angry with him. When he got divorced from his ex, Ray and I did a lot of free babysitting and did what we could to help him through it. We have also made a lot of special birthday parties and fathers day parties for him and his kids. We do that for all our family, I haven’t this past year because I was so sick. I just feel hopeless about this right now, and I needed to vent. 

Until next time..



Posted by on August 15, 2010 in Uncategorized


5 responses to “What a Life I have…

  1. Lynn

    August 16, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    Hi Amanda, I am very sorry to hear about what happened to you–for so many reasons. It’s hard enough to be violated and betrayed but when you feel you don’t have the support of your family, that’s a kind of pain that many people, who have not experienced what you’ve been through, cannot understand.

    I know you are a very spiritual person and you have the support of your husband. Allow God, your husband and yourself to be your salvation right now. You can’t control what others think and feel but you can control what YOU feel. Putting too much emphasis on what others are doing strips you of your power and the possibility of having peace in your life.

    Surround yourself with things you love and love to do–like your baking. Take long, nurturing baths or long walks outside. Music can also be very soothing. Ask you husband to give you a massage…there are so many things you can do to turn the focus inward and embrace the beauty that is there.

    Here’s a link to one of my favorite videos by Louise L. Hay:

    Also, while you’re in the kitchen baking, turn on your computer and tune into to Hay House Radio for more positive reinforcements: (this online radio station single-handedly brought me back from the depths of despair not that long ago). All you have to do is click the green “Listen Now” button and allow your world to be filled with an abundance of love, compassion and peace.

    (((HUGS))), Lynn

  2. Lynn

    August 16, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    Oh, I forgot to share this link with you…I have some clips of some of my favorite motivational videos on my website. I change them every now and then so once I post them they are usually on the site for a while. Check them out when you get a chance:

  3. cakebaker35

    August 16, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Thank you Lynn I’ll check out the website and radio station. I need the encourgement right now… I did have a long talk with my mother last night and I think we got some thing’s worked out. All I can do is just live my own life with my husband and hope that someday my brother changes… There is nothing else I can do right… Thank you again Lynn!!! 🙂

  4. cakebaker35

    August 16, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    Right now I ment to say!! LOL!! I am tired today…

  5. Lynn

    August 17, 2010 at 12:53 am

    LOL…it’s okay and you’re welcome. Everything will work out the way is supposed to. Get some rest and please take care of yourself. :>)


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: