Passing the Time.

24 Sep

Hello Everyone,

As some of you may already know from my Facebook page that my godmother passed away this week. I guess they were putting in a new pace maker and something went wrong. They have already cremated her body and plan on having a memorial service for her next spring. I can’t say I was very close to her because truth be told I wasn’t. Even though she was my godmother, I didn’t have a lot of contact with her. We both worked in the nursing home where she lived, she had been there for over 20 years I think. I just worked there a little over a year split between 2 different times I was employed there. We never talked to each other much when I was there, she was always busy with the laundry, and me with the residents.. Ruthie is what we called her, and her and her husband were married just after my mom and dad got married over 35 years ago.  Ruthie is some of my cousins grandmother also. When we saw her she always told me how much I looked like my grandma Shirley, and it’s true I do look a lot like her. I got all my baking skills from her too.  I posted how sorry I was to one of my cousin’s FB page last night and said did you know she way my godmother? Well this cousin removed my post.. I don’t understand why at all, I was just expressing how sorry I was. I have never been close to any of my cousins, I don’t know if it’s because of all the moving we did or what. I am the oldest on both sides of my family, I am the first grandchild for both sides also. I feel like a lot of the time most of them don’t want to be around me.. Which is puzzling to me… I haven’t ever talked bad about any of them or anything. I don’t look like any of them either… I am as different as night is day to most of them. I have 10 first cousins altogether and several 2nd and 3rd ones. I guess that is what happens nowadays with families spreading apart… Is it this way with everyone or just my family??? I need to remember not to be so sensitive myself, with all the steroids and other meds I am on, I get my feeling’s hurt very easily.  I woke up crying this morning from a bad dream, I don’t remember what it was about now.. Last night I was going through some of my cookbooks, (I am working on a Thanksgiving menu to post here later). At first my husband thought I was planning it of my family, I said no just for us for right now. I haven’t even thought about what to do for Thanksgiving yet, there’s just too much bad family crap going on right now. My mom and step-dad will be in AR for the holiday and I don’t know about my grandparent’s or my aunt that lives here. Ray and I need to go visit his aunt, she’s live 2 hours from us and is 85, so she may not be around too much longer.. Who knows what will happen.  I told Ray last night that we really need to get my will in order. I don’t know if I am going to make it through this time… The Dr. told me that I have to stay on blood thinners for a while, because of the way the vein heeled behind my right knee. It’s still open even through the clot is gone and she said I could get another blood clot very easy. So I know with taking blood thinners there is no way I can ever have children, it would give birth defects ect..  I am ok with this, I came to terms with this a long time ago. While it makes me sad sometimes and I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have kids.. The Lord knows what is best for me even though I may question why me Lord??? I know right now I am to ill for anything anyway. Ray said when we move I can get my fur baby, a female Pomeranian. I would really like to get 2, one red and one white. Call them Fireball and Icee hehehe… I  don’t know yet…

Well enough for now, I’ll try to post the rest of my honey information tomorrow…

Amanda 🙂

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Posted by on September 24, 2010 in Uncategorized


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